I kinda hate myself and I’m not quite full of love,
But somehow I get greeted with a smile and a hug.
I’m a child chasing rainbows and I can’t seem to cohere,
And I can only vaguely tell you what I am doing here
I’m just rolling around.
Just can’t figure it out.
I don’t lie on first dates but I’ll certainly omit
All the things that make me feel like I’m a piece of shit.
If you love me I will fight you if I love you I won’t let go,
But if you ask me where I’ll be soon expect that I won’t know.
I’m just rolling around.
Just can’t figure it out.
I’m just hanging around.
Just can’t seem to get out.
I go outside my house but not outside my head,
And I don’t see an outcome where we don’t all end up dead.
Don’t know if I should fight it or just try to live my life,
But no matter what I do I just can’t feel right.
I’m just rolling around.
Just can’t figure it out.
I’m just hanging around.
Just can’t straighten it out.
I don’t like the way that you won’t stop before you say something to me I just can’t ignore.
I know that it’s a trap but I take the bait and every time I do it it’s always the same.
I don’t like the way that you say you will try to treat me better but you never do.
You tell me it’s my fault and I’m not good enough. I feel I fucked up something but I don’t know what.
My head is always spinning and I don’t know what is real.
I’m losing what’s inside me and I don’t know how I feel.
I know it’s just your head and not your golden heart.
You can only do so much to me before I fall apart.
I don’t like the way that you constantly use the fact you’re sad to try to get to me.
I fear if I don’t play my part I’ll make you hurt. I feel so controlled and it makes me squirm.
I’m running out of answers and I wish you would try to find some help just like you know you should.
Instead you put it on me or ignore it, but I can’t keep you going or take another hit.
My head is always spinning and I don’t know what is real.
I’m losing what’s inside me and I don’t know how I feel.
I know it’s just your head and not your golden heart.
You can only do so much to me before I fall apart,
Only do so much to me before I fall apart.
I know that you are kind and always try to do what’s right, but I can see you struggling with your current mind.
Please try to find a path that can help you start to heal, ‘cause I can’t take much more of this I am not made of steel.
My head is always spinning and I don’t know what is real.
I’m losing what’s inside me and I don’t know how I feel.
I know it’s just your head and not your golden heart.
You can only do so much to me before I fall apart,
Only do so much to me before I fall apart.
You can only do so much to me before I fall apart.
about
Stripped down takes of the singles from my Cigarettes and Dandelions EP
credits
released July 15, 2022
All songs written, arranged, performed, engineered, mixed, and mastered by Joseph Tudino
Album Artwork photo by James Lastowski
Album Artwork graphic design by Anna Stevens
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